Fate
by Hazel the weird
Summary: Severus Snape thinks about his situation while he is in Azkaban


This is one of the first fics I wrote, obviously the characters are not mine and belong only to JKR.

For english is my second language, please review! Thanx!

Was this the fate? The fate he was born for? Under a bad star, for those who really believed this nonsence. He never believe such things.

And now he met his fate. He was doomed to suffer pain beyond pain, more than a normal man could ever bear, but was he normal? Had he ever been normal? Wasn't he very special, very special indeed?

He once had thought he was. But he had to learn it the hard way that he had been mistaken about his speciality and skills.

He had been branded, branded forever. For his skills and his abilities. Then he found himself special again, and wanted, oh yes. Wanted for important things to do. Things of high interest and first priority. And he had been the one to do them. He was indeed special to the Dark Lord, his master he had to obey… and there was no question in doing so. Or was there? Had there been a question? He questioning himself if it was right what he just started to do?

He did as had been told. They were save, save with him. The Dark Lord. Most powerful wizard of this time. Besides this man. This old fool man. The Lord feared him. And he could understand so well. He was afraid himself, for this man always knew what he would end up, branded and locked up in Askaban. There he was. Not one happy feeling was left in him. He lay upon a cold stone bed and shivered. It was so cold. The cold was slowly crawling forward, up his arms, down his chest and when it reached his heart he saw her face again. And these eyes! These green lightning eyes! It was no happy feeling, no good thought and not even a nice memory. He was the reason she would never be able to look into his eyes. Never again, she had gone, gone at the hands of his former master. And that was his burden, his pain beyond pain… unless…had he changed? He had tried to, form the moment he knew that the dark Lord would be after her. He had turned spy, was not special any longer and knew that, one either side he would be killed. By his fellow death eaters, when they found out, or by the aurors that caught him when he tried to go back to Dumbeldore to report. Would, against all odds, Dumbeldore help him? After all he had done so far? Had he done anything than betrayal? He betrayed her! These green eyes, haunting his sleep. There was no sleep. He never slept properly since he was brought here. Cold he felt, cold he was, and slowly dying. Dying with the guilt in his heart. And regret that he had not opened his eyes before. How had he been about to think that the dark Lord would really spare her? Did he really think he could tell him what to do? He was not special at all. Cold! His hand went numb, he couldn't concentrate, he just aw all the death. The people who died because he made a terrible mistake. Was he going insane? They always do, they say. He can hear the others cry in the night. How long has he been here? A day or a year? He cannot tell anymore. It is far more horrible than a cruciatus, this pain. Why can't they be mercifull? Why can't they just kill him? But he deserves not a quick death. He deserves this pain. And Albus surely knows… This is his fate. His burden. His pain. All he did is now reflected.

And there… what was that? Footsteps, drawing closer. They open his cell! He tries to get up, but he can't. He is to weak. Weak not special. They grab his shoulders, make him stand. He can't stand. His legs give away. "Severus!" this is Dumbeldore! He came! He came! He really came! "Come on, Severus, we shall leave now. Do not worry." He tightens his grip, it hurts, everything hurts at the moment. His body, his soul, his heart and his mind. He feels how he fades. "This is not the moment to rest, Severus. Make your mind work. Hold on, just for some minutes, till we're back at Hogwarts." Back to Hogwarts, sounds good. Better than stay in Askaban. Far better.

He's out. He can feel it. No more dementors. Just he and Dumbledore. Everything turns black. No sounds, no colour. No life? Is this the end? End while being rescued? Slowly, very slowly he opened his eyes. Warm light was around him. He felt save and comfortable. No pain, no cold. "Finally awake, Severus?" He does not understand. "I did not hope…"

"You should have known, Severus. I wish I could have come earlier, but it was impossible. But no need to worry now, you are here and you are save." he cuckled. "I spoke for you at the trial, and you don't have to go once more. They cleared you, at the sight of what you've done so far. It is alright now. You look tired, take a rest. We shall talk on later…"

"Albus, thank you!"

"No, I thank you."


End file.
